Wow. So many things have happened over the last week. So many feelings and emotions. And I have to remember to keep them in check.
I call it a “God thing” when certain events happen all in a row and God reveals Himself to me at the end. Like, things come full circle. Maybe if you’re a Christian you know what I mean. And this last week, God was there every step of the way.
I was in such a poor mood. Frustrated, annoyed, depressed, angry, stressed, more annoyed. Each day I woke up I told myself I’d make it a good day and then one little thing would just set me off and I’d sabotage the rest of my day.
My husband and I weren’t (well, we AREN’T) seeing eye to eye on certain situations. I want to do one thing, he wants to do another. And I was having a hard time with that. I was putting all my hopes and dreams and goals on this ONE step. And when he was shutting the door on me, I just said, “To heck with it all then! I’m not gonna try at anything! What’s the point!” And I started to feel the urge to hide again. To shut myself out from the world (like I had done before) and just stay in bed.
I got on the phone (after crying almost the whole day) with a dear sweet friend who gave me a lot of things to think about. One was that while yes, this one door seemed to be closed, it wasn’t the end of my WHOLE dream. It just meant I needed to take a different path. I can’t give up on my WHOLE dream over one bump. (Which you’d think I’d realize that by now, but like I said, I let my emotions get the best of me!)
So each day I was feeling a certain way, I’d open my devotional and find a story, prayer, and Bible verse to walk hand in hand with what I was going through.
For instance, one day I was feeling like my life would never change. That my life would always consist of diapers, sippy cups, laundry, cleaning, dishes, tantrums, and fighting. And my devotional was about feeling stuck in a situation. About how all that God ever wants from me is to want Him. Love him. Acknowledge Him. The prayer was asking Him to help me see my situation with clear perspective. I also realized that this is just a season. This isn’t how it’s going to be forever. My circumstances might not change today or tomorrow, but my outlook can. I can keep moving forward. Keep putting one foot in front of the other to work towards my goals and my dreams.
Then there’s the whole self-confidence/self-esteem issue I have from time to time. Feeling like I can’t do certain things well or that I’m not doing certain things correctly or friends with certain people, because there’s something fundamentally wrong with me. I’ve always felt like an outsider. I think even in my own family. I never felt like I fit in. I was always different with a different life then anyone else. Different ideas. Different points of view. I just always tried to shut off those differences to blend in more.
And so God came at me with TWO things. One, don’t put the whole of your identity into the smallness of a situation. Because again, this situation isn’t going to be forever. It can’t define ME. The scripture was Colossians 2:9-10 (NASB). “In Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority.” I just want to emphasize – IN HIM, I HAVE BEEN MADE COMPLETE.
The second thing was listening to a sermon yesterday (from my phone! I love technology!) and the Pastor said “The more we know God, the more we’ll become ourselves. We’ll be the people He created us to be.” The more I know Him, the more I read His LIVING word, the more I’ll become ME. The more I’ll be the person He CREATED me to be. Which goes back to Him completing me.
I always had a problem with people saying “She completes me.” or “He completes me.” when they talk about a significant other. I just truly don’t believe any human can fulfill us like that. It’s not a reasonable thing. It doesn’t make sense to me.
I feel like I was all over the place today … I hope it makes sense or encourages you to seek God more in your life situations. I tend to get so focused on ME and what I want, I don’t ask Him. He already has a plan laid out for me. It’s my job to seek Him in all things. And no matter what happens, if I’m working towards His will for me, the path will be made clear. Nothing can get in the way.
The devotional I’ve been talking about is called “What Happens when Women Say Yes to God” by Lysa TerKeurst and you can find it HERE.